Invite Feedback (Don’t Take it Well)
Photo by Yan Krukau
A Leader's Guide to Discouraging People, Diminishing Trust, and Damaging Culture
Invite Feedback (Don’t Take it Well)
Description: Initially, the leader presents themselves as open to feedback. They often talk about how they welcome the input of others. However, once input is shared, the leader becomes passive-aggressive, lashes out, and/or views others as “not on board” or not “team players.” Especially if the feedback, opinion, or perspective does not align with their version of reality.
This One Time: I was in a meeting, and when I shared an opinion contrary to our leader's, the energy in the room shifted. The leader became sarcastic and visibly frustrated, and the meeting was derailed. From then on, open dialogue among participants shut down and remained at the surface. Participants became unmotivated and much less enthusiastic about our direction. Psychologically, half the room was “out.” It was fascinating (and unfortunate) to watch.
Making it Worse: The leader disparages the individual who shared their opinion with others on the team and solidifies a culture of fear. Worse, the leader gossips, talks ill of the person who spoke out, and excludes them from future discussions or planning.
The leader loses: Honest dialogue, and soon, they are surrounded by “yes” people who only tell them what they want to hear and keep their true perspectives hidden.
Followers think: “I am going to keep my thoughts to myself.” “Just nod and tell them what they want to hear…”
Overheard at the water cooler: “He flew off the handle and reprimanded her! I am not going to say a thing.” “Well, now we know how much she values ‘honest dialogue.’ “Just keep quiet, and you will be fine.”
Effective Leadership: Great leaders understand the importance of getting all perspectives on the table. They create an environment where people can freely share their thoughts and opinions - even if they are unpopular or differ from theirs. Doing so gives the leader a clear picture of the many perspectives on any given issue. The leader does not have to agree with all perspectives and will ultimately choose a course of action; the process is important here. If team members do not feel they can share their ideas, the leader will be surrounded by “yes” people primarily concerned with self-preservation.
Seek first to understand, then to be understood. - Steven Covey