Shut Down Honest Dialouge
A Leader's Guide to Discouraging People, Diminishing Trust, and Damaging Culture
Shut Down Honest Dialouge
Description: Initially, the leader presents themselves as open to feedback. They often talk about how they welcome the input of others. However, when input is shared, the leader becomes passive-aggressive, lashes out, and views others as “not on board” or not “team players.” Especially if the feedback, opinion, or perspective does not align with their perspective.
This One Time: I was in a meeting, and when I shared an opinion contrary to our leader's, the energy in the room shifted. The leader became overly sarcastic and visibly frustrated, ultimately derailing the meeting. From then on, all dialogue shut down and remained at the surface. Participants became unmotivated and much less enthusiastic about the direction we were headed. Psychologically, half the room was “out.” It was fascinating to watch.
Making it Worse: The leader publicly criticizes the person who spoke up and excludes them from future discussions/planning.
The Leader’s Lost: Honest dialogue and is soon surrounded by “yes” people who only tell them what they want to hear.
Followers Feel: Tense, uncomfortable, guarded.
Followers Think: “Just stay quiet, and all will be fine,” “Just tell them what they want to hear…”
At the Water Cooler: “He flew off the handle and reprimanded her! I am not going to say a thing,” “Well, now we know how much she values ‘honest dialogue,’ “just keep quiet and you will be fine.”
Effective Leadership: Great leaders understand the importance of getting all perspectives on the table. They create an environment where people can freely share their thoughts and opinions - even if they are unpopular or differ from theirs. Doing so gives the leader a clear picture of the many perspectives on any given issue. The leader does not have to agree with all perspectives and will ultimately choose a course of action; the process is what’s important here. If team members do not feel they can share their ideas, the leader will be surrounded by “yes” people who are only concerned with self-preservation.
This Week: Consider how others respond to your presence in meetings. Is the conversation lively and the debate spirited? Or is it painfully quiet and lacking active engagement, even on critical issues?
Seek first to understand, then to be understood. - Steven Covey